Scared little boy, scarred man. I am.

I am drowsy yet wide awake.
I wonder if it has anything to do with the new medication I take.
I hear a buzzing in the silence.
I see dancing shadows on the walls.
I want to feel alive again.
I am drowsy yet wide awake.

I pretend that my heart isn't crying for a cigarette.
I feel as if my world is crumbling.
I touch my chest to hear the beating of my heart.
I worry that I might not make it.
I cry because I'll have so little to leave behind.
I am drowsy yet wide awake.

I understand so little of the path in front of me.
I say farewell to the future all to often.
I dream that someday the past will stop haunting me.
I try to move away from all my fears.
I hope to really catch some sleep tonight.
I am drowsy yet wide awake.